I am currently reading People, Years & Life written by Ilya Ehrenburg. I am only about one-third of the way through, but I have already taken great interest in it and have found many of the passages strikingly (perhaps painfully?) relatable as a traveler. Ehrenburg immigrated from Moscow to Paris in the early 1900s and he discusses many of his first impressions of Paris - describing it as a theatre - as well as the pain and sadness he felt when walking those same city streets years later: "When I come to Paris now, I feel inexpressibly sad - the city is the same, it is I who have changed."
I have identified incomprehensibly with this book and I am thrilled to have the time now to flop around all day reading it. As I am prone to marking paragraphs or quotes that intrigue me, and since this book is not mine but my university's, I must write all of these quotes down before I return it. I thought this blog might be a nice place to store some of the relevant ones.
I don't know when the last time I wrote on this blog was. Did I talk about my second summer in Spain? Perhaps not, but I'm not going to do it now either. (Long story short, I spent May-August in Madrid taking Spanish language classes at a language academy, AIL Madrid. It was, at times, overstimulation for a summer brain, but with strictly Spanish conversation for four hours every day five days a week, my level advanced immensely, and I can now converse and write at an intermediate level. I'm not going to talk about how I haven't used it since August, and have forgotten so much already, because that would make me feel worthless. I also taught English to adults as a freelancer for a nice little paycheck. People really want to learn English and it's super easy to find those who are willing to pay $20-30 or more per hour for mere conversation. (Imagine three totally dull hours of small talk over coffee, but walking away with $90. Worth it, even for me, a person who avoids small talk at all costs) Anyway, it was a summer that consisted of a lot of freak outs and panics about the future and my impending graduation this fall, and I didn't spend a whole lot of time actually invested in the moment. Fortunately, I learned SO much despite my weird stress-summer: Spanish, about teaching as an ESL teacher, how to prepare lessons and communicate with others by adapting to their level, how being able to speak the country's language definitely doesn't always guarantee successful completion of the day's tasks, that I love to run, and, perhaps most importantly, I learned that I probably could never live in Spain for an extended period of time - and that, perhaps, I had been trying so hard to find something that just isn't there for me - but after a total of six months as an American living in Spain, I feel confident that I am ready to learn a new country.) Well, I suppose I did end up talking about it, however briefly. There were a lot more details and if anyone is interested I used this website to find ESL clients.
Which brings me to now. I have graduated from uni and I am currently applying for master's programs around the US. But, mainly, I applied for a position as a Fulbright ETA in the Czech Republic. I stressed over the extensive application throughout the whole summer, and finally submitted it in October. I will hear back sometime in January about the results of the first round, and needless to say I am completely anxious. I think about it one hundred times a day. I have no idea where I will be within the next six months, and for the first time in my life, that feels almost beautiful.
I'll close this post with another quote that hit me square in the feels. This is for every time I leave my home for a new adventure, then again every time I have to leave what I have discovered.
"I left with a heavy heart and a still heavier suitcase - I had filled it with my favorite books."
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